Target story

I forgot about this until I was reminiscing through older posts.  It was so funny at the time and I hope I can relay that here.

So, Katie (fellow clerk and friend) and I worked together on Saturday, February 13th.  It snowed a lot overnight, and was a big, slippery mess by the time shift was over Sunday morning.  She offered me a ride home so I wouldn't have to wait in the cold for the bus and I gladly accepted.  She also offered to stop anywhere on the way if I needed to pick up anything.  We decided to stop at Target on the way home because it's right down the street from my place, and she wanted to pick up a couple of things as well.

Target doesn't open until 8 AM, so we took our time trudging through the new snowfall, all the while clucking non-stop like a couple of hens!  Katie drove around the nearly-empty parking lot looking for a space where no one would park close enough to hit her car.  She settled on a space about midway between Colorado Blvd and the front door.  We still had about 20 minutes to kill, so we kept clucking.  =)

Right before the doors opened, someone pulled in directly behind Katie's SUV.  She started exclaiming her discontent and warned the driver, unbeknownst to her, that if she so much as touched her vehicle, she was going to rue the day she was born!  Of course, this is just the start of the best shopping trip, EVER!!!  We made our way through the snowy parking lot to the big red doors.  Katie is so friendly and will chat up anyone.  She started with the guy that opened the store.  We stepped inside and browsed the current ads hung on the wall.  We didn't know what we were there for, so those few minutes were spent in vain.

We chose a buggy and started on our merry, and very tired, way.  Katie talked herself into replacing the bag she carries to work.  We veered off in that direction, and after some laughing at all the patterns, she decided on a plain, black bag comparable to the one she was using.  Mission accomplished!  Next up, feminine hygiene!!!

WARNING:  This is my blog, so I'll post what I want here.  You take the chance to be scarred for life by choosing to read my musings.  That is all the warning you get!  If you proceed, I don't want to hear any belly-aching that it was TMI and you can't look me in the eye ever again.

OK, then.  I had to buy some tampons.  In a not-so-small nutshell, I am insulin-resistant.  I have PCOS.  That wreaks havoc with my reproductive system.  I don't ovulate regularly, so I don't have a normal period.  And what I mean by normal is that I only have a period a few times a year.  When Mother Nature and I do tangle, it resembles someone being murdered!  While making our way to that rotten aisle, we wandered through the Valentine's Day crap.  We were surrounded by guys there trying to get something at the last minute to appease the women (or men) in their lives.  I noticed a box of chocolates with a "PRESS HERE" button.  Of course, I did and the box started spewing out some God-forsaken, moldy-oldie song that made me and Katie laugh so hard!  That did it for her; the ear worm reared its ugly head and she couldn't get the song out of her brain.  I turned the corner and chose the largest box of industrial-sized cotton flowers I could find.  I made it known, quite loudly, that I got my tampons and we could move on.  We wandered around the store with no specific destination in mind.  I overheard a couple looking for breadcrumbs while they wandered aimlessly.  A few minutes later, I stumbled upon the breadcrumbs and let both the employee helping them, the couple and the rest of the people in the store know that they were located in aisle W4.  This little nugget sent us into yet another fit of laughter.

We made our way through each aisle, pondering items, laughing at whatever struck our fancy and choosing random things to buy.  Baked beans, flour tortillas, yogurt-dipped granola bars, jalapeno-cheddar puffed corn, Crystal Light drink mix, etc.  We passed a gentleman stocking shelves several times and he proclaimed his desire to grocery shop with us since we were having so much fun.  We laughed the ENTIRE time we were in the store.  And we were there for more than an hour!  All in all, the trip was a success and my sides hurt from laughing so much!!!  Katie dropped me off and made her way home.  We are talking about taking a bus trip to gamble in Blackhawk or Central City this spring.  I'll keep you posted...

I guess I better get ready for the day ahead.  I need to go get a haircut, then it's home to help prepare lasagna, banana bread, apple crisp and/or mayonnaise cake.  Hamilton wants to bake all those glorious sweets, but we'll see if we actually accomplish them.  Tomorrow, I'm throwing a roast in the crockpot.  Until next time, I wish you (insert your wish here)!  If you don't recognize me, it's because we made it all and I dove head-first into the yummy confections.  Yes, all those chins are mine!  Have you seen my 'wide load' banner???

Jumped-up Jesus H Mortimer...

I'm existing on a couple of hours of sleep at the moment and am feeling a bit snarky.  Surprised?  Well, who asked you, anyway?!?!

I was weeding through a stack of magazines last night that I've been putting off for months when I came across the most awesome name for a book ... EVER!  It's called, Another Bullshit Night in Suck City.  I think I'll start using it in everyday conversation.  I'm just miffed that I didn't think of it; it's brilliant!  The book sounds remotely interesting, but the title is frickin' fabulous!!!  I've posted it everywhere, i.e. Facebook, Twitter and here.  I had to be a bit creative on FB so it would show up on the home page.  I still got my point across.

Did you know the circus was in town?  Yeah ... and they're staying right above my bedroom!!!  I do realize that it's Saturday and MOST people don't work weekends, and LOTS of people don't work nights.  And although I didn't work last night, my body is still in night-shift mode.  I quietly read in my bedroom until a bit after six this morning.  I could have stayed up longer, but I was bored and didn't want to trek out to the living room and turn on the TV.  I do have a couple of Netflix movies and an episode of CSI on my DVR, but I digress.  I snuggled in for what I'd hoped would be a few hours of restful slumber.  Lo and behold, two hours ticked by before I was rudely awakened by the elephants practicing jumping through hoops and some Chatty Cathys outside blah blah blahing while clicking around in their hooker heels!

And to top it all off, I get to go to Wally World and dodge asshats while I grocery shop today!  This ought to be really interesting with virtually no sleep.  I'm either going to be really pissy or laughing my ass off about nothing.  The latter is usually the case, and I'm sure it won't be any different today, since I'm venting here.

Food Network junkie

If you know me at all, you would say this is an accurate description of me.  I've always loved Rachael Ray, and I make a mean marinara courtesy of her.  Last night for dinner, I made a variation of a caramelized onion and chicken quesadilla I saw made by Giada De Laurentiis.  Bobby Flay is one sexy chef that can tear up the dance floor, as well as your intestinal tract if you don't like his spicy fare.  Paula Deen is a woman after my own heart making Southern cuisine, almost always started with "a little butter".  She and I have differing opinions on mayonnaise (she'd drink it; I rarely use it), but her gooey butter cakes look "When Harry Met Sally" cafe scene-worthy!

On the other hand, Sandra Lee just chaps my ass.  She's just a glorified alcoholic who just happened to get her bony ass on TV.  She's not talented at all, and she just overdoes her 'tablescapes'.  This blurb also just punctuates her overuse of the word just.  Emeril got too big for his pants (literally) and moved to FLN.  Fine by me.  I can go the rest of my life without hearing the word, "BAM"!  The Barefoot Contessa is a bit uppity for me, but I do watch her sometimes.  Her husband is just the cutest, though, and they're very sweet together.

Newcomer Sunny Anderson is so fun!  We could be friends off camera.  Guy Fieri is a frickin' nut; I enjoy both "Guy's Big Bite" and "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives".  Tyler Florence is a cutie, but a little ADHD.  Then, there are The Neelys.  At first, I didn't care for them because Gina's voice kind of grated on me.  I gave them another shot, and I now enjoy their show often.  Sometimes, it gets too syrupy, but overall, it's good.

Here's my opinion of Alton Brown:  He's a douchebag!

I wrote this post because I love to cook and see people eat what I've created.  There have only been two times that I was told what I made wasn't that great, but it was still eaten at that meal.  Overall, I have culinary success on my side.  I sometimes like to bake, but I prefer to cook so I'm not chained to measuring devices all the time.  The fewer dishes to wash at the end of the meal, the better as far as I'm concerned!

On that note, I need to cook more and order out less.  Even if I make something that's not-so-good for me, I'll at least know what's in it and it'll save me boatloads of cash.  I could use that cash for Vegas!  I love to gamble and want to go to Sin City sooo bad!!!

I'm done, for now.  I'll be back when you least expect it!

Athena made me do it!

Yeah, I know my last post is over a month old.  I just got lost in planning a move, packing, moving, unpacking and being sick.  Blah, blah, blah...whatever!

I was "gently" reminded by my yellow friend that I needed to update my blog.  So, here I am.  I worked last night, but it was my Friday, so I want to stay up and do stuff before I crash.  Mind you, I've been home for over an hour and haven't accomplished jack, but the thought is there.  I'd like to do some laundry and maybe unload the dishwasher.  If it happens, it happens.  If not, it'll still be there for me to do later.

I still need to make that damn dentist appointment.  Flex spending runs out in about 2.5 weeks.  If I space on it, I'll have to buy $300+ worth of Advil, band-aids and other assorted flex-approved crap!  A massage is a good idea, too.  That'd use up $40.

I'm LOVING the new digs I'm in.  So much more room and working heat makes a world of difference.  I could do without all the gates separating the areas and needing a key to get to the mailboxes, but what can you do?  Beggars can't be choosers, right?

OK, I think this is a sufficient post.  I have a Target story to share, but that'll have to be another time.  Stay tuned; it's hysterical!  Later days!!!

Babbling. Too bad my name's not Brook.

As I'm sitting here trying to warm my hands to type, I'm very grateful to be moving in 2 weeks!  The heat (if you can even call it that) here is atrocious!  It's pretty bad when you wear a scarf and a jacket to bed every night to stay warm (Hamilton's ritual).  We both have two comforters on our beds as well.  Pitiful!

We're eating more healthfully now and feeling better by the day.  I'll be glad to be in our new place as it has a fitness center, pool and hot tub.  We'll also have our own water heater, which is another blessing.  I couldn't tell you the last time I had a hot shower in this hole.  I think everyone in the building shares the same tank.  I'm getting blasted with cold water and inventing new strings of cuss words with each shower!

I started my taxes today.  I'm still waiting for a W-2 from Sam's Club, but my refund so far will allow me to buy a bed.  Thank goodness, because the springs I'm sleeping on now are about to cripple me!

I have a Flex Spending Account through work that I have lots of money on.  I have to use 2009's before the end of March.  I have it earmarked for the dentist.  I'm not looking forward to it, but it's a necessary evil, emphasis on EVIL!!!  I intend on visiting my local Comfort Dental soon.  Knock my ass out, do what you have to do, and put me on the bus.  I'll get home somehow - LMAO!!!

In the last month or so, I was introduced to Shinedown.  Now, I'm a woman obsessed!  I have their albums downloaded to my iPod and have been listening exclusively to them for the last few weeks.  I have 800+ other songs on my player, but I've been rockin' out to them and loving every minute of it!

I guess that's all for now.  It's after 2 AM.  I should probably get some sleep.  I have to go to Occ. Health tomorrow to get my TB test read and I have laundry to do before heading back to work Saturday night.  On that note, Good Night and God Bless!