The preface for this message is that last night, I called him to see if he'd answer his phone. I hadn't heard from him in some time and I just wanted to talk. His phone is almost always OFF, so when it began ringing, I was excited...until I received this message via text after I realize he isn't going to pick up and I end the call:
"Really Steph? In the middle of the game!"
Therefore, this was my FINAL e-mail to him:
That was a pretty harsh response to my phone call last night. I would have shrugged it off had you said that you were watching the game and would e-mail or call me later. Instead, I just got angrier when I see that you didn't attempt a follow-up whatsoever!
You led me to believe that you actually cared about me in some small way. Shame on you for toying with my emotions; shame on me for letting you lead me on for over a year! I will guarantee you one thing: It won't happen again! Your 2011 will be Stephanie-free, as will every year that follows.
I wish you the best in your search for whatever it is you're looking for. And as I breathe a huge sigh of relief of having to never again wonder if you'll throw a pity e-mail my way, I'm looking forward to all the magic 2011 has in store for me!!!
To quote CeeLo Green: FUCK YOU!!!
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Five more days 'til 2011!
Let me preface this post by letting you know I stayed the same at my WW weigh-in this week. Such is the holiday season with goodies so tempting I indulged...a bit more than I should have. *shrug*
What the hell happened to 2010??? This year has flown by so quickly that it's hard to wrap my head around. While I'm still reeling and pondering accomplishments from this year, I'd like to write about what I hope to conquer next year.
As always, the future is full of hopes and dreams to fulfill; 2011 will be the best year yet! Mid to late January, I'll be rockin' out in my new apartment. I've yet to find it, but I know it will be exactly what I'm looking for: close to work so I can walk, functioning heat and A/C, W/D in unit (or at least, a nice laundry facility available for use on site), full-size kitchen and wonderful staff and neighbors. Ideally, hardwood floors throughout and plenty of closet/cabinet space.
I want to put my creativity to the test more so this upcoming year. Not only in my paintings, but in creating jewelry, home decor and healthful recipes using more whole foods and less processed junk. I want to master the art of meditation and yoga to strengthen my mind and body. On that note, I'm going to be a regular customer at a dentist, doctor and masseuse. A healthy temple is a happy temple!
I've already unplugged from Facebook and I plan to dwindle my reliance on television and the Internet as far as entertainment options are concerned. I have plenty of books on my shelf that I could be reading instead, as well as access to so many museums and other intellectual stimuli that would be much more enjoyable than feeling like a zombie while playing Pogo games online and intermittently watching bits of whatever is on TV.
I also plan to live more frugally so I can pay down my debt. I don't have much, but I'd like it to be gone just the same. It'll be much easier to accomplish this living by myself, as opposed to just stopping and grabbing something to eat while we're out running errands.
I've noticed lately that I've been feeling sick while eating hamburger and sausage. I can best describe it as my body 'rejecting' them. Therefore, I will honor it's request and decrease the amount of meat I'm eating, replacing it with protein substitutes. I've recently tried Morningstar's southwest black bean burgers and I love them! I paired it up with roasted cauliflower dressed in EVOO, salt, pepper and red pepper flakes and it made for a tasty, healthful meal! I've also noticed that pasta and bread-based meals leave me lethargic, even though I use whole-grain versions of both. Therefore, I balance out both by piling on the veggies and my tummy is happier.
Seems this has turned into Ramble-Fest 2010. I guess I'll close for now and get some things accomplished around the homestead. Until next time...
What the hell happened to 2010??? This year has flown by so quickly that it's hard to wrap my head around. While I'm still reeling and pondering accomplishments from this year, I'd like to write about what I hope to conquer next year.
As always, the future is full of hopes and dreams to fulfill; 2011 will be the best year yet! Mid to late January, I'll be rockin' out in my new apartment. I've yet to find it, but I know it will be exactly what I'm looking for: close to work so I can walk, functioning heat and A/C, W/D in unit (or at least, a nice laundry facility available for use on site), full-size kitchen and wonderful staff and neighbors. Ideally, hardwood floors throughout and plenty of closet/cabinet space.
I want to put my creativity to the test more so this upcoming year. Not only in my paintings, but in creating jewelry, home decor and healthful recipes using more whole foods and less processed junk. I want to master the art of meditation and yoga to strengthen my mind and body. On that note, I'm going to be a regular customer at a dentist, doctor and masseuse. A healthy temple is a happy temple!
I've already unplugged from Facebook and I plan to dwindle my reliance on television and the Internet as far as entertainment options are concerned. I have plenty of books on my shelf that I could be reading instead, as well as access to so many museums and other intellectual stimuli that would be much more enjoyable than feeling like a zombie while playing Pogo games online and intermittently watching bits of whatever is on TV.
I also plan to live more frugally so I can pay down my debt. I don't have much, but I'd like it to be gone just the same. It'll be much easier to accomplish this living by myself, as opposed to just stopping and grabbing something to eat while we're out running errands.
I've noticed lately that I've been feeling sick while eating hamburger and sausage. I can best describe it as my body 'rejecting' them. Therefore, I will honor it's request and decrease the amount of meat I'm eating, replacing it with protein substitutes. I've recently tried Morningstar's southwest black bean burgers and I love them! I paired it up with roasted cauliflower dressed in EVOO, salt, pepper and red pepper flakes and it made for a tasty, healthful meal! I've also noticed that pasta and bread-based meals leave me lethargic, even though I use whole-grain versions of both. Therefore, I balance out both by piling on the veggies and my tummy is happier.
Seems this has turned into Ramble-Fest 2010. I guess I'll close for now and get some things accomplished around the homestead. Until next time...
Friday, December 24, 2010
Christmas Eve
Anybody that knows me knows that I'm not a huge fan of Christmas. In fact, because the holiday is known more for wish lists and putting your game face on before visiting Santa at the mall than for the true meaning, it's usually been a huge letdown. Almost all kids only know the holiday as the day they get lots of presents, exchange gifts with their Secret Santa classmate and have parties full of sugar, sugar and more sugar. Their name better be on Santa's 'nice' list, or they'll get a lump of coal in their stocking.
I come from a family of five, raised in a very small town in northwest Pennsylvania. My dad was the breadwinner for most of our lives and mom stayed at home to raise us. Industry diminished by the month, as did decent paying jobs. The economy sucks in that area, so does the social scene. It's no secret why I left! I didn't care to drive twenty miles on snow-covered mountain roads to work at McDonalds for $5/hour, nor did I want to be an alcoholic who settled for a life less than ordinary.
There were many years that my parents struggled to give us a Christmas. As a kid, it's the equivalent to a kick in the pants. We never went to church, so the spiritual meaning of the holiday was lost on us. Our grandparents always got us something; usually something fun.
As an adult, I place no emphasis on a wish list to give to Santa. Instead, I volunteer to work so others may spend the day with their children. I adopt a family or buy gifts for kids who would otherwise have none. To be honest, I'll be happy when it's 12:01 AM on December 26th.
And on that note, I have to start getting ready for work. After three hours of sleep, I got up and washed my laundry, cleaned up the kitchen and made some pasta. Tonight should be fabulous!!!
I come from a family of five, raised in a very small town in northwest Pennsylvania. My dad was the breadwinner for most of our lives and mom stayed at home to raise us. Industry diminished by the month, as did decent paying jobs. The economy sucks in that area, so does the social scene. It's no secret why I left! I didn't care to drive twenty miles on snow-covered mountain roads to work at McDonalds for $5/hour, nor did I want to be an alcoholic who settled for a life less than ordinary.
There were many years that my parents struggled to give us a Christmas. As a kid, it's the equivalent to a kick in the pants. We never went to church, so the spiritual meaning of the holiday was lost on us. Our grandparents always got us something; usually something fun.
As an adult, I place no emphasis on a wish list to give to Santa. Instead, I volunteer to work so others may spend the day with their children. I adopt a family or buy gifts for kids who would otherwise have none. To be honest, I'll be happy when it's 12:01 AM on December 26th.
And on that note, I have to start getting ready for work. After three hours of sleep, I got up and washed my laundry, cleaned up the kitchen and made some pasta. Tonight should be fabulous!!!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Home for the Holidays
Actually, I'll be working through the holidays, but I digress. My brother has gone to the airport to spend his Christmas with friends in Oklahoma. That leaves lil ol' me home alone until Sunday night. Too bad I scheduled myself to work every frickin' night as well!
On another note, he has secured an apartment closer to his work; now I have to find mine. We agreed on this arrangement because, heaven knows, we're looooong overdue for our own spaces again. My apartment search has been downright sad. There are plenty of apartments out there, however, one hasn't jumped out at me and said, "Pick me, we're perfect for each other!" I could apply that to many areas of my life... Wait! What was I talking about? Oh yeah, the apartment. I'm going to gather some info and head downtown early next week to check a few places out. I have to update my PPD for work, so two (or five) birds with one stone. Speaking of stones, If I had the stones to actually do it, I'd cash out my 401K and take off. While that's not something I can do before my lease is up here, who's not to say I won't sign a six month lease at a hole-in-the-wall and do it in the summer.
Meanwhile, back at thedump ranch, I better start getting ready for work. If my lucky stars align tonight, maybe five clerks will show up and I can leave early since I picked up the OT shift for this week!
On another note, he has secured an apartment closer to his work; now I have to find mine. We agreed on this arrangement because, heaven knows, we're looooong overdue for our own spaces again. My apartment search has been downright sad. There are plenty of apartments out there, however, one hasn't jumped out at me and said, "Pick me, we're perfect for each other!" I could apply that to many areas of my life... Wait! What was I talking about? Oh yeah, the apartment. I'm going to gather some info and head downtown early next week to check a few places out. I have to update my PPD for work, so two (or five) birds with one stone. Speaking of stones, If I had the stones to actually do it, I'd cash out my 401K and take off. While that's not something I can do before my lease is up here, who's not to say I won't sign a six month lease at a hole-in-the-wall and do it in the summer.
Meanwhile, back at the
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
*Whew*
It's very odd for me to not be logging into my Facebook account every few minutes to discover if anyone has posted new pictures/news/events they're attending. I recently, and rashly, decided to deactivate my profile because I would saunter in and out of this cyber "Real World" so many times a day that it's pretty scary to contemplate putting a number on it. I'm afraid that I'm addicted to the Internet, my friends. And if I'm going to continue with my obsession, I have to make it somewhat constructive. Therefore, I hope to will blog more in an effort to fill my cybertime with something more meaningful than using Status Shuffle to make people laugh.
As you can see, I have changed the design and title of my blog. I have been exposed to the teachings of Mile High Church, the triumph of Louise Hay, the wisdom of Dr. Wayne Dyer and the Law of Attraction. The concept of each is that, "Like attracts like," and if you put your focus on what you want out of this life and act out of love, you will attract it. The same holds true if you put your focus on what you don't want. Think about it. There is more truth in those two sentences than you ever thought there could be.
'Single in the City' dooms me to a love life unfulfilled. 'Love Laughter Light' makes me smile just looking at it. And if I'm smiling on the outside, I'm smiling on the inside and I attract more people like that into my life.
Yes, we all have bad days. Yes, we all don't feel well from time to time. But that doesn't mean you have to wallow in negativity. Go outside of your pissy mood and look at life with an open heart and mind. Take in the sound of a child laughing. Notice that a customer in line at the grocery check-out allowed someone with a few items to go ahead of them. Smile and say hello to someone you don't know when you're walking down the street. Watch your favorite movie or sitcom reruns when you're home and feeling under the weather. I'm telling you, even small, simple acts of love and laughter will make you feel better.
After all, laughter is the best medicine, isn't it?
As you can see, I have changed the design and title of my blog. I have been exposed to the teachings of Mile High Church, the triumph of Louise Hay, the wisdom of Dr. Wayne Dyer and the Law of Attraction. The concept of each is that, "Like attracts like," and if you put your focus on what you want out of this life and act out of love, you will attract it. The same holds true if you put your focus on what you don't want. Think about it. There is more truth in those two sentences than you ever thought there could be.
'Single in the City' dooms me to a love life unfulfilled. 'Love Laughter Light' makes me smile just looking at it. And if I'm smiling on the outside, I'm smiling on the inside and I attract more people like that into my life.
Yes, we all have bad days. Yes, we all don't feel well from time to time. But that doesn't mean you have to wallow in negativity. Go outside of your pissy mood and look at life with an open heart and mind. Take in the sound of a child laughing. Notice that a customer in line at the grocery check-out allowed someone with a few items to go ahead of them. Smile and say hello to someone you don't know when you're walking down the street. Watch your favorite movie or sitcom reruns when you're home and feeling under the weather. I'm telling you, even small, simple acts of love and laughter will make you feel better.
After all, laughter is the best medicine, isn't it?
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
New design
I changed up the ol' blog name to reflect positivity and draw more of those beautiful things into my life. "Single in the City" was holding me back, figuratively...and literally.
Being positive has worked for me for a very long time. Even if you're in a rotten mood, if you make an effort to focus on something positive, your mood will turn around.
So, bring it on!
Being positive has worked for me for a very long time. Even if you're in a rotten mood, if you make an effort to focus on something positive, your mood will turn around.
So, bring it on!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
You're going down!
Another 1.6 pounds has evaporated off my fluffy frame, bringing my total to date to 12 pounds!!!
It's time for bed.....................
It's time for bed.....................
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Day of Reckoning
I have to weigh in tomorrow, and I've been overindulging this week. I packed a light lunch for work: 1/2 sandwich, a cucumber, some grapes and an orange. I hope this will kick my body into "let's get rid of some junk so Stephanie can chalk up a loss for four weeks in a row" mode.
I'll be back.............
I'll be back.............
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Going...
Quick update: Lost 4.2 for a total of 10.4 in 3 weeks. I really don't deprive myself, but I don't eat (and drink full calorie sodas and juices) as much as I did. I've always known that portion-control is key, but weighing in and tracking points is really helping me stay focused.
Yay!
Yay!
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Go away!
I lost another 2.8 pounds! That means 6.2 in two weeks. To be fair, I have a *LOT* of weight to lose, so right now, it's just falling off without much more effort than making better choices and tracking what I'm eating. Just imagine how much more I'll lose when I incorporate exercise. :)
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