A child's favorite question as soon as they are old enough to talk and one that can never be answered well enough that they stop asking. A question that is part of the famous who/what/when/where/how group. Tonight, the question is mine to ponder.
I was
talking texting with a dear friend tonight. I was asking advice for another age old question: How can I drop some pounds safely and quickly? He's a former body builder and he works out a lot, so who better to ask? Our banter ensued and I stated that I had the tools and the brain, I just had to find the motivation. He matter-of-factly stated that I should be my own motivation. I am beautiful and wonderful and I should want to stay that way for my friends and family to enjoy for many years to come. SCREECH!!! While I know this in my head, I don't feel this in my heart. Studies have shown that what we believe about ourselves today is directly related to how we were treated in our first few years of life. Dad made sure the family had what we needed financially and mom made sure we had the physical things: clean clothes, food in our bellies, etc. The one thing we didn't get was emotional encouragement. I don't recall hearing, "I love you," unless I said it first. "You're beautiful," didn't exist, but sometimes I got, "You're so smart," when I brought home a perfect report card. Even then, I think my dad's parents said it, not mine.
It's not even something I can talk to them about now. Dad passed away and I don't speak to my Mom. I guess it's time to turn to a professional. While I don't think I need 'shrunk' too much, I believe it would do me a world of good to speak to someone who is unbiased that can help me attain real progress through exercises they have learned in their practice. Follow it up with a massage, and I should be better in
20 years no time!
A big THANK YOU to Matt for reminding me that I am beautiful and wonderful and that I am all the motivation I need! In the grand scheme of life, I know this to be true. It brought a smile to my tear-stained face to hear it.
1 comment:
Steph, I don't mean to sound trite but you really are a beautiful person...REGARDLESS of what your body looks like. My parents lacked in the emotion department as well and I think that made me rely on myself a lot more. You can make whatever it is you want in life happen. You can search for the reasons why (and I applaud you for turning towards a professional) to bring you peace but ultimately the rest is up to you. You keep rockin' on girl!
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