I've fallen into a funk again. I'm so bored with every aspect of my life, I could just SCREAM! Instead of scaring everyone and possibly beckoning the police to my door, I've shed a few tears and am contemplating something...anything that will shake me out of my rut. I even looked into couch surfing across the country in search of my promised land. I didn't seriously entertain that thought, but it was an interesting escape.
I'm re-evaluating my job, college, Denver...EVERYTHING! Although I work in the Emergency Department, I still shuffle papers every night. Not rewarding in the least and it's excruciatingly boring. The thought of taking classes for 4+ years just to be confined to a different cubicle is driving me mad. And what if I end up not liking it? Then what?!? I'll have wasted a lot of time and a lot of money and be right back to this square. FML!!!
I'm not meant to be boxed in. I'm not meant to work for someone else. I need to be creative and I need to be my own boss. I don't want to have to be at work at a certain time, put in this many hours and leave at that time. If I want to screw off and go to the mountains for a couple of days, I don't want to have to ask anybody except the people I want to go with me.
That being said, I'm going to go soak in a bath and contemplate my next move. I hope to emerge with a clearer mind and a game plan.
2 comments:
i remember when i felt just like this. i knew i was meant for more. sometimes i look at my life and i wonder if i made the right decision. Whenever i walk away from a family and they give me a huge hug and thank me for helping them, I know that I did. you'll find your calling... it just hasn't dialed your number yet.
I just hope my number hasn't been permanently lost!
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